Falling for Change Page 6

  “Could you check on the dogs for me Blue?” I tossed over my shoulder.

  “OK little missy. Spill it. Who is Blue and why were you kissing her?” Phoebe poked my shoulder for emphasis.

  I lifted my dirty shirt over my head and threw it in the laundry basket. Pulling a new shirt out of the drawer I said, “She’s my lesbian I’ve been seeing.” I pulled the new shirt over my head so I wouldn’t have to see Phoebe’s reaction.

  “Now now, before you say anything we’ve gone out twice and that kiss you interrupted or almost kiss anyways would have been our first.” I looked up at Phoebe. Her face went from surprise to anger and back to surprise.

  “What do you think you are doing? Does she know you’re not even a lesbian? Have you told her you’ve only dated men your entire life? You can’t just wake up one day and decide to be a lesbian. We talked about this? What about your crazy mother? You’re upset that I walked in on your first kiss. What are you going to do when she wants to sleep with you? Share her life with you? Huh? Have you thought about any of this? You gonna play pretend for a while then leave her for a man? Please tell me what it is you think you are doing?” Phoebe rambled off waving her hands in the air as she scolded me.

  “Not that it’s any of your business but no I haven’t told her that I’ve never dated women. I looked up a bunch of lesbian types online. Did you know there are seven lesbian hairstyles? Anyways I’ve just been trying to act like I’ve done this before. And only one person has caught on to my act. Her name was Tiny and she figured me out when I tried to play butch.” I said indignantly.

  Tears were streaming down Phoebe’s face she was laughing so hard. Wiping the tears from her eyes she chortled out in guffaws and puffs, “You… You tried to ha you tried to be butch. I would have paid to see that.” She was on the floor now.

  “While you’re down there could you see if my other pink heel is under the bed? I can’t find it. And screw you very much. I need to get to work now. Lock up when you leave.”

  Blue and Buddy were waiting by the door when I came out of the bedroom. “We better get going so you can make it back to work. Buddy gives his deepest regrets for the earlier incident. Right Buddy?” Blue looked down at Buddy sternly.

  “Woof.” Buddy sat at Blue’s feet wagging his tail and panting, a big grin on his face.

  “I do have to leave in a minute. Thanks for lunch. It really was great. Will you call me?” I asked nervously biting my lip. I was worried that Phoebe may have been too loud in the bedroom and Blue would find me out.

  “Yes. We had a lovely time.” Blue looked over her shoulder and winked as her and Buddy walked out the door, “You’d definitely make one sorry butch. Stick to the lipstick lesbian. It suits you.” I could hear her laughter through the closed door.

  Running to the balcony I looked out. The apple trees in front of my brick apartment building made it impossible to see Blue and Buddy. But the trees were no match for the husky laugh coming from Blue as she walked down the street.

  Chapter 7 (Mac and Cheesey Linguistics)

  Later that night after work, I came home to an empty apartment. Well Larry was there but he’s a good listener and can’t scold me like Phoebe. I changed into gym clothes and took Larry for a walk. Walking down the street towards the park reminded me of my date earlier with Blue in the same park.

  “It’s a nice evening isn’t it Larry. Do you want to walk through the park? Let’s go through the park.” Larry turned his head and looked back at me.

  “What? Why are you looking at me like that? Can’t I be in a good mood?”

  We stopped at the light to cross the street to the park and Larry sat down waiting for the light to turn. He looked from side to side and started to whine. Larry loves the park and always gets a little over excited when we can’t just charge straight there. The walk light turned in our favor and we took off at a jog across the street and headed straight for the pond. “Now Larry there will be no chasing the ducks, I’ve already been drenched by one wet dog today. I bet you’d like Buddy once you got to know him. He is very well behaved and likes the ducks just as much as you.”

  As we rounded the pond Larry barked and the few ducks on land waddled towards the water. There were a few clouds in the sky and the sun was halfway through its decent to make room for the moon. A few people were jogging on the path going the opposite direction as us.

  “You’re gonna like Blue too. She’s really very sweet. After our first date I was a little worried. She was a little rude and seemed distant. Like she had no interest in even being there. But then she took in Buddy. I mean she can’t be all that crass if her heart melted enough to take in a homeless dog. Then she showed up today at the clinic. She brought me a picnic and was super sweet and easy going. I’m pretty sure she over heard me talking to Phoebe. I hope she doesn’t run away now that she knows I’ve never dated women. But she was laughing when she left. She couldn’t have been too upset right Larry? If only I had a lesbian best friend to give me some advice about dating women.”

  “Woof Woof.”

  “Yes Larry. I know Phoebe is my best friend. You ready to go back? I suppose I need to get Phoebe to give me her opinion. Like that will be hard. Ha she’s the most outspoken person we know huh Larry. Let’s go home.”

  Larry made one last dash towards the bushes at the exit of the park. He always lifted his leg at them even if he’d relieved himself ten times already throughout our walk.

  After we got back Phoebe was standing outside my door with a bottle of wine and homemade mac and cheese. Phoebe doesn’t usually take the time to cook so she must be here to apologize. She had also changed out of her pseudo work clothes and was sporting a pair of baggy comfortable looking men’s jeans and a black tank. She had a leather bracelet on her right wrist and her freckles were once again free along with her curly red hair. She had the good sense to look sheepish as she held up the food and wine and said, “Can I come in?”

  “Hmmm. I don’t know. Larry what do you think?”

  “Woof. Woof.” Larry’s tail wagged.

  Phoebe bent and ruffled Larry’s ears looking up at me with her best impression of puppy dog eyes.

  Laughing out loud I gave in easily. “I’m not really mad at you so the apology cooking, although thoughtful, was not needed. Get up and come inside. I need your advice anyways.” I unlocked the door and walked through.

  Rolling her eyes Phoebe said, “My advice on what? Are you still pretending to be a lesbian? I thought I finally got through to you.”

  “I’m not pretending. I mean I’ve been out with Blue twice now and I do like her. She’s funny, sweet, and she likes dogs as much as me. She hasn’t done anything that I can’t overlook and she’s the first second date I’ve had in months. What’s the big deal anyways? Why can’t I date women? I’m an adult I can choose to see whomever I want. I’m not a homophobe. Also I’ve been watching lesbian movies and the sex scenes don’t repulse me.” I paused looking at Phoebe. “So I’m not really sure what the problem is?” I pulled out plates and silverware as Phoebe uncorked the wine.

  “It’s not that I think you’re too straight to be gay. I just worry about you. Coming out can change your life. It’s not like everyone will be jumping for joy that you’re gay. I mean it could hurt your clinic business. And the only person who I know will be jumping will be your mother and she’ll be jumping mad not jumping for joy. I’m worried about how all of this will affect you.” She poured the wine and carried the glasses to the living room.

  “I love you for it you know I do. But I’m not sure what other people’s opinions should have to do with my romantic life. Besides that, I have no reason to tell people.” I turned the music on softly for background noise.

  “Mmmm. I outdo myself with this mac and cheese. Soo good. Sooo cheesy. Just like you. Eventually, you will have to tell people. What happens if you fall in love? Decide to share your life with a woman. Move in together have children? What will you tell people? You got knocked up and
meet my live in nanny? Ya isn’t it funny that little baby girl A calls the nanny momma too? Ha ha. Ya she’s so funny.”

  “Ok. I get your point. But…I’ve only been out with one woman on two dates. I’m not ready to settle down and start a family. When and if that time comes I’ll figure it out. Now I need your advice on Blue.”

  “What kind of advice? Linguistic advice? You know I’m somewhat of a Casanova in the lesbian community. In fact, I’m pretty sure it’s a curse really. That’s why they never want to leave. That’s why I had to hide out at your place today. I’ve got lots of advice for you on this.” She wiggled her eyebrows and brushed her shoulder off.

  I laughed and slapped Phoebe’s arm. “That’s not exactly what I was going to ask about but we’ll get to that later. I’m pretty sure Blue heard you put me into the closet today. Not sure if she is going to call now. And I want her to call. Should I call her instead? I really want that third date.” I took another bite of the mac and cheese to stop my rambling.

  “So you want to know if it’d be to forward of you to call her. No. Are you insane? Lesbian relationships don’t follow the same rules as heterosexual relationships. Besides that, this is not your mother’s era anymore. Women call men for dates all the time. So why couldn’t you call? And one of you does not have to be the boy. In fact in your case I’d gather to say that any woman you date will never be a stone butch. Which means one of you will never always be the boy. Well I mean one of you could be the boy in bed or you could take turns. Personally, I like to be the one who wears it.”

  “Shit Phoebe I hear enough of your sex life through the wall I don’t need you to explain it to me in detail too.” I felt my cheeks get warm.

  “Just call her. This will be your third date right? What are you gonna do?” Phoebe batted her lashes, “a romantic walk? A candle light dinner?” Phoebe laughed, “I know you’re not gonna sleep with her since I interrupted your first kiss just today.”

  “What do you mean I’m not gonna sleep with her? Am I supposed to sleep with her? I mean it’s the third date. I usually go with the three-date rule. I decide after the third date if I’m gonna sleep with the person. If not I don’t go out with them again. If it’s yes then I do it that night. Am I not supposed to follow that rule?” A confused expression on my face I absently took a drink of my wine.

  “You can sleep with her whenever you’d like as long as she is willing. I would have hit that the first night. But that’s just me. Since this hasn’t turned into the typical lesbian relationship, a U-Haul on the second date, I think your good on whatever you feel like doing.” Phoebe took our empty plates into the kitchen and put them into the dishwasher.

  I followed her to the kitchen to refill our wine glasses sitting at the bar. Taking a sip I thought about sex with a woman. Could I really do it? I’m not a prude and it’s not like there hasn’t been times I wished the guy on top of me would hurry up so I could get the hell out of there.

  “I think I just want to get it over with you know. It’s not like I’m a virgin. I know it’s not the same thing but given that I’ve never slept with a woman I think it’s a good idea to just rip off the Band-Aid and get it over with. If I hate it then I guess I’ll just be celibate because I obviously have no luck with either sex. If it’s anything like what I hear coming out of your bedroom then I’ll know dating women isn’t a waste of time. What do you think? Give me some tips. I watched a couple episodes of L Word and I know what I like so I think I have the basics… but a few pointers couldn’t hurt.” I blushed a little not believing how comfortable I was seriously debating having sex with a woman.

  “First of all,” Phoebe took a big gulp of her wine, “wine at dinner one glass to relax you, no more. Being drunk will only make things worse when you don’t know what your doing. Second, wear something you are comfortable in. Third I usually like to be in control. That way nothing happens that I don’t like or am not comfortable with.”

  Finishing my wine I stood up and walked back to the couch. “Come in here. I don’t need tips on how to feel comfortable I need tips on how to have sex with a woman. Dammit Phoebe. Stop laughing at me.” She fell onto the couch snorting.

  “Ok. Ok. I’m sorry. I totally just went into first time mode. Ok. Tips. Got it. With someone new I always try the things I like first. Most women are very vocal and you know if they like it. If I’m getting no response with anything I just whisper in their ear, tell me what you want me to do baby, and go from there. And don’t be afraid to voice what you want because it’s hot and women like that. They are not like men who just jump on and get off. They actually want to please you too. Finally, always use your fingers and sniff before using your mouth. If it’s stinky you can find out before you’re too close and stop an embarrassing situation before it starts.”

  I could feel my disgusting face forming. Phoebe started laughing, the big belly laugh, the one when we were kids that meant she was going to pee her pants soon.

  “Stop before you pee on my couch. OK I know. Disgusting face. So what you are saying is that you’re a dirty dog and are refusing to give me any legitimate tips.”

  As Phoebe ran to my bathroom still laughing she yelled out the open door while peeing, “I’m serious about the finger dip so you don’t get the stink lip. It’s common practice.”

  “It’s getting late. I have to go to bed. I’ll call her in the morning and invite her to dinner at my house Friday night.” I pushed Phoebe out the front door, “Thanks for all your help. I really appreciate it and don’t worry about me I’ll make sure I know what I want before I tell anyone anything.”

  “All right. You know I love you and am just looking out for you. Sleep well.”

  After I practically threw Phoebe out of my apartment I got ready for bed quickly and laid awake thinking. It’s certainly been some time since I’d had sex but not because I was opposed to it. I was serious about following the third date rule. And it’d been awhile since I’d made it to a third date. Hell, since I made it to a second date for that matter. I’d have to figure out a way to make sure this third date ended the way I wanted it too. And what I wanted was to rip off the Band-Aid. Sleep came slowly that night as I devised a plan in my head. Albeit a rather flimsy plan that could easily blow up in my face but a plan none the less.

  Chapter 8 (The Dog Knows All Your Secrets)

  The next afternoon I found myself pacing my office, my phone in my hand. I had chickened out this morning and didn’t call Blue. I was sweating like a whore in church. Now with the only free time today in between a pet pig and a cat, I felt like I needed to call or I never would. Debating on what to say when I called Blue I stopped pacing. Should I ask her if she over heard Phoebe and I? What if she tells me no because she doesn’t want to embarrass me but she really did hear all of it. Maybe I should just come clean on the phone, tell her I’ve never dated a woman before but if she’s willing to be my first she should come over for dinner Friday night. No that sounds like I’m propositioning her. Maybe I should just get it over with. Just sleep with her Friday night and if it’s good I’ll know. If not we’ve only gone on three dates and no big deal. That’s it. I’m going to invite her for dinner and dessert.

  The phone ringing in my hand startled me out of my thoughts. It was Blue. Perfect. If you can’t stand the heat get out of the kitchen. Right. “Hello. I was just going to call you.”

  “You were?”

  “Yes. To see if you wanted to come to my place for dinner tomorrow night.”

  “Sure. I’d love to. What can I bring?”

  “Just yourself. Say six o’clock.”

  “Can’t wait. See you then. Bye.”

  I wonder why she called? She didn’t say anything. Hopefully she was calling to set up a date with me. Maybe I should have let her ask. Oh well. I’m going to have to leave early today, right after the last patient. I need to go shopping. I have to get something new to wear. I also need food. I can grill fillet on the balcony and a small garden salad. Oh and tall c
andles. I’ll make it romantic.

  “Sherry. I’m going to leave right after the last patient today. Do you mind staying to close up?” I asked walking towards the front desk. Sherry had on a pair of purple cat eyeglasses today. The purple glasses went well with her lavender scrubs and almost distracted me from the new, bright red stilettos she had on.

  “What’s the occasion? I see you’re breaking in new shoes. Where are you wearing them too?” I nodded my head at the new shoes.

  “Oh these?” Shelly lifted her pant leg and showed off her shoes with a big grin on her face, “Do you like them? I’m going to a fundraising dinner tomorrow night downtown for the national riffle association. I’m surprised you’re not attending with your mother. I kind of thought this was her thing.”

  “No I’m not going with her. But yes, that does sound like something she’s probably attending. However, it doesn’t sound like your kind of thing.”

  “Oh hunny, it’s not my thing at all. I got asked by a rather handsome gentlemen and it gave me an excuse to buy new shoes.” Shelly’s breasts jiggled with the force of her laughter and she had a big grin on her face.

  Almost ten years my senior she had more dates in a week than I’d have in a month. Somehow, she always finds attractive men (she has a thing for the cowboy look) that treat her like a princess. Shelly loved three things more than life itself, her friends, shoes, and men. The constant zest she showed for life was enough to make me want to be her friend. Her undying loyalty to those she loved was just a bonus. Laughing I shook my head, “Like you need an excuse to buy shoes. Well I hope you have an excellent time. I’m on my way out. See you tomorrow.”

  “I always do.” Shelly winked.

  *****

  “Buddy, just hold still. Jeez it’s not that bad. If you wouldn’t run through mud I wouldn’t have to soap and hose you down.”