Falling for Change Read online

  Listen to me talking to a dog. I need more friends. Can’t wait until tomorrow night and my date with Anita. I wonder what she’s gonna cook? I love dessert. Who am I kidding I love food in general. I shouldn’t let myself get this excited. I know Anita loves animals but does she love them enough to love me even after she finds out my secret? I have to stop thinking about this or I’m going to have to go for a run to loosen up.

  “How about a run Buddy?” Buddy’s head quirked to the side. “How does that sound? No more bath.” His ears perked at this and he shook his wet fur sending droplets of soapy water all over me. “No. A run. Yes. Let’s go.”

  I walked to the back of the garage Buddy on my tail. Stripping down I watched the sun set. I could feel my body changing. My bones breaking, elongating my spine, to create a thick black tail. Sweat poured from head and I had to consciously keep from making fists. The pain of the claws popping out of my hands in a fist isn’t something I wanted to add to the experience. My head shook from side to side, my snout elongating, enhancing the scents around me. I could smell tiny animals that had made the woods their home. My hearing was increasing so much that I could actually hear each tiny hair of my thick black coat coming out. It sounds like the rush of a waterfall when you are standing right underneath it. The noise is so loud it washes away the pain of my pelvis shifting to make running on four legs optimal instead of two. Panting I bent down to my knees. My ears perched on top of my head tweaked and now I could hear the nocturnal wood creatures scrounging in the dry leaves. This meant my pelt was fully grown. It took some focus not to chase down the tiny prey. But the more times I change and the older I get the easier it becomes to ignore the pull of my wolf and focus on what the human side of me wants. Down on all fours I gnashed my now sharply pointed teeth. The pain of changing subsided quickly. But I knew my eyes would glow a bright blue from the minute my first bone broke until the second the last hair of my coat came in. Changing from human to wolf takes about thirty seconds in all. When I was younger the change would happen without my consent. Specifically when my emotions were high, mostly when I felt angry or threatened. Thankfully, years of practice has allowed me to be able to control the change. But even as an adult with years of control the change is still inevitable on the full moon. I lifted my head howling, calling to my sister. If she was anywhere in a ten mile radius she’d hear me and find me in the woods.

  Through the entire process Buddy laid on the ground watching me, his held high and his ears perked. I walked on all fours slowly towards him. When I got right in front of Buddy I lowered my head and wagged my tail. I didn’t want to scare him so I thought a gesture of play would put him at ease. Turns out I didn’t need to worry, Buddy must have recognized the wolf in me all along because he took one step forward and licked my face. Either that or he has no concept of fear because I’m definitely the bigger predator between the two of us. With the worry of scaring Buddy out of the way now all I had to do was hope he could keep up and that Becca heard me.

  We looked at each other, crunched down, tails wagging playfully and I took off into the woods. Running on all fours, easily jumping and ducking between the tree branches my enhanced sight making it simple. Looking behind me I saw Buddy only a few feet behind doing a good job of keeping up. One mile into the woods, where I knew people wouldn’t venture in the dark I stopped. There was a clearing with a few down trees creating a nice sitting area. Buddy and I waited by the edge of the clearing. I sat on my haunches tilted my head back and howled again calling for Becca. The noise that made its way into the clearing bounced around. A soft echo under the moon. Even if Becca isn’t in her wolf form she can still hear me. She just has to change in order to track me. I looked to my left and saw Buddy howling as well next to me. I licked his face and waited. The night was already getting darker and there was a small breeze ruffling the leaves on the trees around us. I could smell deer a few hundred yards away delicately running in the opposite direction. They’d definitely heard me. In the clearing a rabbit stopped frozen, trying to hide from the predators it could sense but not see.

  Becca came running into the clearing on all fours. Her long white coat glistened in the moonlight. The clouds had seemingly parted for her entrance. Or atleast that’s the story she’d tell if she had anyone to tell besides me, who was there. Half way to where we were on the opposite side Becca stopped and listened. There wasn’t another person around for miles and the other creatures that live in the forest had run off as they sensed us as predators bigger than them. Knowing we were alone Becca turned back into her human form. As changers we can understand each other in our wolf form but human language is lost and sometimes it’s awfully hard to find the words you’re looking for when you’re a wolf. Wolves generally think about hunting, killing, eating and pack politics. This doesn’t give us a lot of room for words that express how pathetically we’re pining over our love lives.

  “You howled?” Becca laughed, “Did you hit puberty during that last howl?”

  I changed into my human form and walked towards Becca in the middle of the clearing. Scowling I nodded towards Buddy at my side. “The last howl was Buddy, not me. But he did a pretty good interpretation of my call. Didn’t you Buddy. See what happens when you howl? Becca comes.” I laughed petting Buddy’s head. “Good boy.”

  “Funny” she scowled at me then at Buddy. “Don’t get any ideas mister. I don’t come for treats or because you want to play fetch. And you, what is it you needed? I was tracking a family of deer a couple miles over the valley.”

  “You were in the state park? You know that’s not safe during the summer months. Tourists are out and the park rangers will shoot at wolves with tranquilizers to tag them and take them out farther into the forest outside the camp area. You won’t be able to keep the wolf form if you get hit. How you going to explain that?” I walked closer towards her shaking my head.

  It’s bad enough that we were both naked in the middle of a clearing. Two women and a dog just hanging out naked in the woods. Someone could come up and think to attack us. That wouldn’t prove well for them because our senses and strength are enhanced so they wouldn’t be able to sneak up or win in a fight. Or even better they could get pictures or start rumors of some crazy witch cult doing naked spells under the moonlight. These things while not great options would be somewhat easier to explain then a naked Becca lying on the ground where a tranqued wolf used to be not thirty seconds before. Never the less we both stood their in the middle of the woods naked. Neither of us or any wolf changer for that matter are modest in front of each other. When you change you very rarely have clothes hidden around. We both grew up around a lot of naked people, especially on hunting trips.

  “Buddy didn’t run from you when you became wolf? And he followed you all the way out here? That is so cool. I need a dog.” She leaned down to pet him.

  I ignored all of the things I could have said about why Becca getting a dog was a bad idea but allowed for her subject change. I knew I’d have ample opportunity to chew her out later about her running trail through the park.

  “I called because I need your advice on a couple of things. I’ve been seeing this woman. But she’s not a changer so I’m not really sure what to do.” I could feel my heart rate increasing just thinking about Anita.

  “So what’s the problem? Is she cute? Is she good in bed?” Becca lifted her eyebrows and grinned.

  “The problem is she’s not a changer. She is very cute and I haven’t slept with her yet.” I looked down at the ground and kicked a random rock.

  “Wait. You haven’t even slept with her yet and you call me out here to tell me there is a problem with the girl you are a dating because she isn’t a wolf changer? Are you kidding me? You haven’t even slept with her yet.” Her eyes were wide and she had a look of disappointment on her face.

  “I really like her Becca. I’m worried about this. I’m supposed to go to her house for dinner tomorrow night. It’ll be our third date. I’m not sure if I should kee
p seeing her. How am I suppose to get involved with someone who isn’t a shifter not to mention I’m pretty sure she isn’t even gay. What if I fall for her? I mean she’s hot as hell and she’s sweet and loves animals, she’s a vet for chrissakes. I don’t know what I’m gonna do. I think I might have already fallen for her.” Pacing back and forth I ran a hand through my hair. Buddy paced back and forth with me and gave a whine.

  “What? You don’t think she’s gay?”

  “That’s all you heard out of that? I tell you I’m falling for a woman who isn’t a changer and all you hear is I haven’t slept with her and that I don’t think she’s gay?” My fists were clenched and I pounded them down to my sides.

  “Well it is pretty important that a woman you are in love with be gay in order for her to be in love with you back, Blue. Duh.” Becca had a blank look on her face.

  “I don’t know if she is gay or not. What I mean is I think she is gay. I just don’t think she has ever dated a woman before. I overheard her talking with her best friend the other day and that’s what it sounded like. Phoebe, her best friend was giving her a hard time about seeing me. Saying it wasn’t fair to go out with me, and then leave me for a guy. Focus.” My hands were moving around as I spoke as quickly as I could to keep Becca on track. “The problem is that I’m not sure how our lives could even work together with her being so different from us.”

  “It doesn’t have to be a problem Blue. Aunt Kim married a human and Uncle Larry fits in just fine. Aunt Kim told him about us when she knew she could trust him and wanted to spend the rest of his life with him and everything worked out great. You just need to slow down. At least sleep with the girl…” I glared at her, “woman, I’m sorry, before you freak out about spending the rest of your life with her. You’ll know if you can tell her. When we find a mate we mate for life and if she is your mate you’ll know. Go to dinner, have fun, get some.” Laughing and shaking her head Becca held up her hands, “I know. I know. Relax Blue. Figure out if she’s gay. This” she put her hands straight up on her head to look like wolf ears, “may not even be a problem. Now I’m leaving do you want me to run back to the house with you or should I just talk to you Saturday?”

  “You don’t need to come back to the house. But why Saturday?”

  “So I can find out how she was in bed duh.” Becca cackled and took off running towards the opposite side of the clearing. She dove into the air and her long white coat once again shined in the moonlight. Knowing how painful the change is for the first thirty seconds I knew that it would hurt as she landed on all fours. That should be punishment enough, but her need for center stage must outweigh the pain because she refuses to change in front of anyone with out some sort of extravagance. Damn, she must practice these things.

  Her last grand entrance was during our quarterly pack meeting. The whole pack gets together every three months on pack territory. Most pack members own acres of secluded forest. We pick one pack member’s property and meet up to run together. The meeting is supposed to keep us in touch with our pack and give those members that live in the city or don’t own a lot of land a chance to get out for a good run. We also have a week retreat any time a new wolf turns thirteen. The week long retreat is meant to teach the wolf control over their added human strength. It’s hard to not show off on a high school sports team when you’re a thirteen year old with the strength of the Terminator. Luckily practicing control starts at a very young age and it isn’t really a problem by the time high school comes around. Otherwise the teasing and ridicule that can sometimes happen would end badly. Becca ever the showboat flung herself from my jeep as we were coming to a stop near the rest of the pack. We all pretty much showed up at the same time every time. Just as I slammed on my breaks a large white wolf landed in front of the jeep and every one else milling around their cars. I was pissed. But mostly I was scared. I could have hit her and she didn’t even warn me what she was doing. Everyone else assumed it was planned and clapped, howled, and hooted.

  Running after her right now would be pointless. She already had a head start on me so instead I forced the wolf out once again and went the opposite direction. Buddy and I ran all the way home. Buddy made sure to get as dirty as he could. I think he was mad at me for not going running with him sooner. I made sure to get us a huge snack when we got home. The wolf always makes me hungry. It also causes us to have a super quick metabolism in human form as well. I usually eat way more food than I look like I do, but when I change I have to eat or I get weak and dizzy until I get something in me. Since we ran pretty far I figured Buddy could use the nutrients too. Plus I planned to take him running with me more often so I wasn’t worried about him getting fat.

  Chapter 9 (Bride to Be)

  Leaning against the cool shower tiles as steam rose up around him he couldn’t seem to get that stupid bitch out of his head. It made him sick to his stomach every time he was around her.

  At first he couldn’t believe his luck. She was fine. In fact she was the best looking woman he’d ever gone out with. The sex was fantastic. But she still hadn’t introduced him to her parents let alone anyone else after months of them being together. So it was time for drastic measures. He proposed. It’s not like she was the first woman he’d ever proposed to. He and his brother had had to use the same ruse to breach two other clans before his death. It’s not like he intended to actually marry her. But he needed a way into meeting her family. He was ninety percent sure she was a changer, which was why he felt he had no other choice than to propose. It all seemed to go to shit after that.

  Doesn’t it seem odd that you keep doors locked in your house and I don’t even know what is behind them? Or that you leave my place in the middle of the night? I’m your fiancé. We will be living together after we’re married you know. Nag, Nag, Nag. That’s all I ever hear out of the woman. For fucks sake. Maybe she’d like it better if I just showed her the basement or the freezer full of wolf heads. Hmm sweaty would you like that? What I wouldn’t give to just toss her in the freezer and lock the door.

  Only the hunting kept him from going insane. And even that was not helping as much as before.

  Every wolf he saw paid for the noises in his head with a bullet. The music of his brother’s death curdling screams that just wouldn’t go away. He replayed that night in his head as took the ax to the dead wolves waiting to see if what lay under him would become something that resembles a human after its head was removed. So far he hadn’t had any luck. Every damned one was just an animal no changers. But he was certain that he’d make his own luck soon enough. And he’d start with his fiancé.

  His plan was to be invited into the family of changers living in the area and she was his ticket in. How stupid and naïve she was. Surely her parents would be devastated when they learned that it was their own daughter who would bring about the end of their clan.

  This had him thinking. Maybe I shouldn’t kill her first. Maybe I should just get to know the rest of the family and pick them off one by one. She’s already expressed her parent’s disdain for her less than cautious lifestyle. I can use that to my advantage. Not one of them will have enough time to even realize that a Chasseur is in their presence. They’ll be too busy trying to keep her inline to fear the newcomer.

  He looked down to see the water finally running clear. All of the blood washed from his body. Grabbing a towel he smiled. It no longer mattered that all ten of the wolves he’d killed weren’t changers. It no longer mattered that he had just spent hours digging a hole in the ground to empty his freezer of those decapitated wolves. It no longer mattered that he spent an hour before that cutting off each of their heads. He had a plan. His smile widened.

  Chapter 10 (Well That’s Awkward)

  After work I ran home and changed into the lingerie I had bought the day before. After talking with Phoebe I decided that I should just go ahead and get sleeping with a woman over with. I figured the easiest way to do that would be to just open the door in something that screamed ‘fuck me n
ow’. The shopping trip to Fredericks of Hollywood accomplished this nicely. If she didn’t find me irresistible in this then there was no chance of her ever wanting to sleep with me. But mostly I just needed to make sure I could sleep with a woman and be good with myself before I went on any more dates with her. I realized Phoebe was right and it isn’t fair to lead her on if I can’t spend my life in a relationship with a woman.

  I grabbed a few candles and placed them around my bedroom. I also took some out to the small dining table off to the side of the open kitchen. I added a few more to the living room and balcony. Satisfied that the candles were set up as best as they could be I went back to my bedroom.

  I looked in my full-length closet door mirrors. I pulled my hair out of the bun I wore for work and it curled down around my shoulders. I readjusted my boobs in the black lace push up bra and smoothed out the bodice of the silky chemise. The black lace boy shorts started an inch below the flowing chemise and turning in the mirror I noticed they made my butt look a little higher. The black garter with white trim was the last piece to put on. I grabbed the black silk kimono that ended just above my knees and closed it up with the belt before I could change my mind.

  It’s not like I’ve never had sex before. Just not with a woman. I’ve never planned it either. This seemed like a much better plan when I was thinking about it and not actually doing it. You have the robe on. You can just pretend you didn’t have time to throw on clothes and go change if you’re uncomfortable when she gets here. I gave myself a pep talk. Just finish getting dinner together and if she makes a disgusting face when you open the door tell her you still need to change and go do it. It’s really that simple. You got home later than you thought and didn’t want to keep the food waiting so you threw on whatever was around and got cooking. Ya that seems logical because most people just have sexy clothes lying around their house. Jesus Anita. Buck up! I’ll just finish the food and put some clothes on after so I don’t get any stains. If sex happens it happens; and I’ll still be wearing this underneath the clothes.